A Very Noir Christmas

      dsc_5102b© 2016 City of Broken Dreams

And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer. So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

—Book of Revelation 12:7-9 (NKJV)

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Rope: A Bondage Story (Prologue—Side B)

dsc_4669© 2016 City of Broken Dreams

Cleanliness leads to godliness leads to loneliness leads to boredom leads to ennui leads to fucking temptation. Everything always leads back to fucking temptation. So what’s a girl to do?

She consistently attends her bi-weekly meetings. She has frequent late-night telephone conversations with Marge—her confidant; her staunch, supportive sponsor. She focuses on her two young daughters; committing herself completely to providing them with the kind of childhood that she herself never had. She closes her eyes tightly, even when sitting in the dark, and pictures herself standing on the threshold of the abyss; willing herself to perch on the brink of Oblivion, but never allowing herself to fall in. She tries to live the most ordinary life that she can, even though she is engaged in a near-constant battle with the most extraordinary of foes: the devil that awaits her, standing just outside the door.

Basically, she tries to survive—and she does a pretty good job at it, too. But no matter how much she busies herself with the mundane minutiae of daily living, with the mechanical motions of the AA rigmarole, with the introspective, pseudo-spiritual battle over her fucked-up, broken little soul, it never seems to be enough. The devil is always knocking, and she lives in constant fear that the day will soon arrive when she will finally open the door.

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