This Strange Effect (Prologue—Side A)

DSC_6926© 2017 City of Broken Dreams

Need you
Dream you
Find you
Taste you
Fuck you
Use you
Scar you
Break you

Nine Inch Nails, “Eraser”

Of course encountering Ryan Evan will leave you forever changed.

After all, being psychically raped and murdered by a metaphysical serial killer tends to change a person.

And note that I said that an encounter with Ryan Evan changes a person.

Because remember: Ryan Evan isn’t the kind of serial killer that actually kills you in the end—okay, well at least not by his own hands, anyway.

Now don’t get me wrong; Ryan Evan is without a doubt, one of the sickest, most twisted individuals currently in existence. However, that being said, it must be noted that the kind of violence that Ryan Evan inflicts upon his victims is far, far worse than what any corporeal serial killer would inflict upon one of their own victims. You see, Ryan Evan’s sadistic modus operandi far exceeds the limits of flesh and bone: he actually removes and devours his victims’ metaphysical hearts.

So yeah, just be aware that even after the most violent of encounters with the terrible monster that is Ryan Evan, you will most definitely still be very much alive in the immediate aftermath. That is, if you can still consider the pathetic state of existence you’ll be suffering through as actually living, of course.

For although it is technically possible to continue to physically survive without a metaphysical heart, for those individuals unfortunate enough to fall victim to such a depraved and vicious violation, it will eventually be discovered that the notion of continuing to keep on living in the shadow of an absent heart can be a particularly large and bitter pill to swallow—and one that is likely to get choked on in the process.

And to be quite honest, the majority of Ryan Evan’s victims do usually end up dead some time after encountering him, anyway. Typically by their own doing, I might add—either directly or indirectly.

Because not surprisingly, a large majority of Ryan Evan’s victims will perilously plummet into a deep, dark existential depression, until the moment inevitably arrives when they will no longer be able to withstand the infinite disintegration of their very souls. And so, in cliché suicidal fashion, a handful of pills will get swallowed; wrists will get slashed in a warm bath; a once favorite belt will get cleverly repurposed into a noose, perfect for a bedroom closet gallows hanging. 

But then again, not all of Ryan Evan’s victims will be so forthright in their pursuit of death as a means to circumvent the monster’s lasting effect. For a small subset of what can only be described as sadly self-delusional individuals, there will be an initial—and rather foolish—belief that it is actually possible to overcome the psychic trauma of being used, abused, and consumed by the Ryan Evan monster.

However, sooner or later, these shortsighted “optimists” will ultimately come to the tragic conclusion that Ryan Evan isn’t the kind of antagonist that was meant to be overcome. Consequently, in a desperate bid to obliterate the reality of this bitter realization, these broken Pollyannas will be pathetically driven to unknowingly commit a more passive and circuitous form of suicide.

And here, I speak of the substance abusers and your general addicts. You know, those individuals who will naively claim that they “don’t have a problem” despite excessively immersing themselves in sex, drugs, alcohol, and any number of other self-destructive vices that they believe will help them snuff out Ryan Evan’s lasting memory. That is, until the day finally arrives when their “non-problem” cunningly wraps itself around their tender little throats like a giant python, and begins to slowly squeeze the life out of them until there is absolutely nothing left to squeeze.

And there you have it; if Ryan Evan is responsible (and he almost always is) for any of his victims’ deaths, then it is merely incidental—for Ryan Evan will never ever directly deliver the killing blow. After all, to do so would be to completely defeat the purpose of his own perverse design. You see, for an emotional and psychic sadist such as Ryan Evan, it isn’t about the thrill of the kill.

For Ryan Evan, the thrill of it all comes in the eating of a young woman’s metaphysical heart, followed by languidly absorbing and getting himself off on her anguished suffering as she subsequently attempts to live through a heartless existence. And if the girl ends up dead in the end as a result? Well then that it is simply because death and dying are promises that every living soul must ultimately keep—it’s just that some will make it to the finish line a whole lot sooner than some of the others.

However, not all of Ryan Evan’s victims will physically perish as a consequence of his strange and wicked appetites. And for the ones who do continue to survive—in spite of their heartless state, despite their gaping psychic wounds—as I stated earlier, they will undoubtedly find themselves very much changed because of him. And as you might expect, the change that they will undergo, will most definitely not be a change for the better. 


Nine Inch Nails. “Eraser.” The Downward Spiral. Interscope Records, 1994.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s