This Strange Effect (Prologue—Side B)

DSC_6958© 2017 City of Broken Dreams


You’re in my system, baby
Deep in my system
You’ve got me going crazy
Inside my system
You’re in my system, baby
Deep in my system
You’ve got my soul and body
You’re in my system

Nu:Tone, “System”


Some of you already know this. I am inextricably linked to the monster. Ryan Evan’s violent delights are my terrible nightmares: every time he takes a victim; every time he penetrates her, grabs a hold of her still beating metaphysical heart, and eats it in front of her it as she watches on in horror—I see it all, in my dreams. And now my dreams haunt me, all the time. I no longer sleep; I can only dream my horrible dreams.  

This is why I must stop him; to stop the dreams, to once again be able to sleep. I wish I had a more noble, more selfless cause. Like the well-being of the women, for instance. It’s not that I don’t care about their suffering—no living being should ever have to endure the esoteric brand of pain and punishment that Ryan Evan inflicts upon his victims. But protecting and preventing them from falling into the jaws of the beast is not my main priority. Perhaps it would be if I were a better man. But I am not a better man. Nor am I a good man; I am just a selfish man—one who so badly needs to sleep.

Although, many monsters haunt the streets of the City of Broken Dreams, he is of the very worst kind. Ryan Evan: eater of broken girls, bringer of my nightmares—he is my one true nemesis and he must be stopped. And so I hunt him; the act of stopping him has become a newly evolved component of my autonomic functioning. Ryan Evan is my own personal Count Dracula, and so I must become my own version of Abraham Van Helsing; I will not rest—I cannot rest (quite literally)—until the monster is slain.   

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This Strange Effect (Prologue—Side A)

DSC_6926© 2017 City of Broken Dreams


Need you
Dream you
Find you
Taste you
Fuck you
Use you
Scar you
Break you

Nine Inch Nails, “Eraser”


Of course encountering Ryan Evan will leave you forever changed.

After all, being psychically raped and murdered by a metaphysical serial killer tends to change a person.

And note that I said that an encounter with Ryan Evan changes a person.

Because remember: Ryan Evan isn’t the kind of serial killer that actually kills you in the end—okay, well at least not by his own hands, anyway.

Now don’t get me wrong; Ryan Evan is without a doubt, one of the sickest, most twisted individuals currently in existence. However, that being said, it must be noted that the kind of violence that Ryan Evan inflicts upon his victims is far, far worse than what any corporeal serial killer would inflict upon one of their own victims. You see, Ryan Evan’s sadistic modus operandi far exceeds the limits of flesh and bone: he actually removes and devours his victims’ metaphysical hearts.

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The Red-crested Cardinal (Paroaria coronata) Symbolizes That Moment Between Us

DSC_6142© 2017 City of Broken Dreams

Maybe there was a moment between us.

If there was, then that’s all it was—just a moment: a fleeting fraction of an instant in our briefly intersecting lives.

And I’m not even talking about a kiss.

No, there was no pressing of lips, no wet lashing of tongues, no exchange of electricity via our breath.

It would have been a more subtle kind of moment. A shared glass of wine. The prolonged touching of knees. Maybe even just a passing look.

But as quickly as it came, it would have then disappeared. Like a drop of water fallen onto a hot element. The moment evaporated; the experience vaporized from the present tense and converted to a state of the past. 

Perhaps the moment lingered in the air for a bit, afterwards. Like smoke from an extinguished flame, or the sweet scent of a woman trailing behind her after she has just walked out of a room. If the moment was ever a tangible one, once it passed, it became ephemeral. And there would have been no use in trying to grasp onto it as it fled the scene of the crime. For the moment was never meant to be captured or imprisoned. The moment was never meant to last.

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